I talk to myself when I’m by myself. Sometimes it’s conscious. Sometimes it’s unconscious. I was sitting here working, and I unconsciously said, “People often talk themselves right out of the place that God is trying to bring them into.”

Yesterday, I was sitting at a table of architects and attorneys who partner with my job for architectural best practice initiatives. I was there to unveil the new Learning Management System that they’ll be using with their employees, a system that I administer. As I sat there waiting to present, I kept reminding myself of how accomplished these people are and how much superior their knowledge was to my own. I told myself that I needed to get up there and really flow because I didn’t want to seem ignorant with all of these heavy hitters in the room.

I’m also trying to learn to think about what I’m thinking about, so shortly thereafter I realized just how disparaging I was being to myself. And it’s something that I do often, if I may be honest. I share for these purposes- I realize that anything that any human ever goes through, another does.

When I started interning, I had a lingering, subconscious thought that I wasn’t doing things right. My supervisor picked up on my constant nervousness. When I started working, I was always wondering when I’d be pulled in and reprimanded. I’m not even sure for what. Before I even got promoted, I told my supervisor that there may be someone more qualified than me. She said, “There may be, but you can do it.”

Even in aspects of my personal life as things have began to flow in alignment with my prayers, I’ve often found myself wondering when hell would break loose. Even though it’s exactly what I’d prayed for.

Why do we do that? Why do we ask for what we want and then settle for something lessor and live our lives out of alignment with the unlimited potential of our God?

Like I said, there is nothing I experience that someone else hasn’t. You may or may not remember when God commissioned Moses with a great task:

The Lord said to Moses, “If they do not believe you and are not convinced by the first miraculous sign, they will be convinced by the second sign. And if they don’t believe you or listen to you even after these two signs, then take some water from the Nile River and pour it out on the dry ground. When you do, the water from the Nile will turn to blood on the ground.”

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” (Exodus 4: 8-12)

You see, it’s ultimately not even about us. Our stories are for God’s glory.

So what are you saying, Joshua? I’m saying that if God has brought you to this moment, He has equipped you to be effective in it. I baked a cake once, and the cake fell. I took it to my great grandma and said, “It didn’t come out good. It fell.”

She ate a piece and said, “Oh my God, if it fell, that’s exactly what it needed. It must’ve made it better.”

I’m not saying you may not be the person you keep telling yourself you are. You may have done some things. There may be some areas in which you feel that you lack. You may actually lack in those areas, but the person you are at the moment that God decides to bless you, that is exactly what is needed in that moment. You are exactly who God needed to articulate that instance of grace. Where you see shame, there is actually a testimony.

Much like that cake, I may not look like what you would expect, but everything inside of me is ready for where I am. To vary on my great grandma’s assessment; If you fell, that’s exactly what you needed. It made you better. Own it.